Book 5: It can't get any worse... can it?
Chapter 21: "I don't want to panic anybody, but we're all going to die!"
Percy arrived running, skidding round the last corner into the open yard where he had left Llama, panting and out of breath. When the whirling stars had faded from his vision, and he'd recovered from the burning sensation in his lungs and leg muscles, he looked around. To his dismay, the yard was empty, except for the scorched remains of some unlucky soul. From the burnt fragments of cloak, he knew it wasn't Llama - he guessed it was one of the wizards, and he'd lay any money on it that it was all Llama's own handiwork. A sound like a steam-train having an asthma attack announced the arrival of DeOre, who staggered into the square behind him. "Oh... No...!" puffed the fat little man, out of breath. "We're too late!" he cried, pointing in despair at the scorched remains. "Don't be silly, that's not her." scolded Percy, examining the surrounding area more closely. Apart from the melted gates, burnt fragments of wizard, and fragments of barrels lying around the place, there were also two new black scorch-marks, one on a nearby wall, and one in the middle of the courtyard. Near each lay hundreds of small metal needles - some were embedded in the scorch-mark on the wall, the ones near the mark in the floor looked blunted and squashed. "What do you mean, that's not her?" asked DeOre, interrupting his perusal of the area. "Where is she then?" "That was one of the wizards, look at the bits of cloak." pointed out Percy. "As for where she is now, well, if I know Llama, probably gone for a very large drink." DeOre was examining the melted gates once more. "Incredible." he muttered to himself, "just incredible." Percy pushed past him and climbed through the hole in the gates. "Where the hell are you going?" asked DeOre. "To find Llama - I sure as hell am not waiting around here for her." said Percy. "Are you coming or what?" "No, it's just the way I'm standing... Oh, okay." agreed DeOre, and followed him.
Once inside the gates Percy headed for the nearest large building. That wasn't too difficult, because there was only one building, although it wasn't particularly large. "Hey," whispered Percy, "This place seems alot larger on the outside than it odes on the inside. What gives?" "Well," explained a voice from behind them, "We wizards have got to maintain appearances, haven't we. So the larger and more impressive this looks from the outside, the better the 'image' we project. But all that space would be a real waste, not to mention a bugger to take care of, so we just use as much as we need on the inside." "Oh." said Percy, and turned around slowly. There, stood behind him was a tall blonde lad, about the same height as he was, and very well built. The term "Brick Shit House" leaped into Percy's mind. "Hi." said the youth. "I'm Gurth. I'm a student here." he proffered a hand. "uh... hi... I'm Percy." said Percy, getting his hand crushed and his arm pumped vigorously enough to detach it from the shoulder. "So, how can I help you?" offered Gurth. "Well, you could start by letting go of my hand..." suggested Percy. "Oh, yeah. Sorry!" smiled Gurth. "I was looking for a friend of mine actually." explained Percy. "A girl. Real knockout. Long black hair, and looking rather pissed off at a bunch of your top guys last time I saw her..." "Oh! Her!" exclaimed Gurth, looking a little alarmed. "You're friends of hers, are you?" "Yes, why, where is she?" asked DeOre, quickly. "Oh, she's in the main library with the Council." stated Gurth, "It's said she melted the main gates, which can't be true, I mean it's impossible, and then she's supposed to have fried Master Ryoga, but that can't be true, can it? I mean, girls can't do magic, I mean, even if they could, one couldn't beat the Grand Master Wizard, could she? No, it can't be true." "I'm afraid it can." apologised Percy. "Wha...? How...?" stuttered Gurth. "It'd take too long to explain." said Percy, shaking his head. "Could you show us the way to this library then?" "Uh, sure, it's this way..." Gurth led them off into the building. DeOre trailed along behind.
A slender figure slipped into the courtyard and examined the hole in the melted gates. Shaking her head ruefully caused her red curls to bounce loose and frame her young, fair-skinned face. Pushing the curls back, she picked up a large lumpy sack from beside the gatepost, and slinging it over one shoulder, climbed through the hole in the gates.
Gurth led Percy and DeOre to the library. upon entering, they saw most of the wizards sat around in a large circle in various leather armchairs in the middle of the room. Percy's eyes locked onto a pair of small, bare feet, and followed the long, slender, smooth-skinned legs up as far as he could to a silky-blue low-cut dress with a slit skirt. It didn't leave much to the imagination. The raven-haired beauty had her long black hair combed back, and an amused smile curled on her luscious red lips, and sparkled in her deep blue eyes. "Well?" she asked, observing his gaze. It took Percy an instant or two to recognise the voice, and the owner. "Ama.. Amanda?" he stuttered, incredulously. "I mean Llama." he added hurriedly. "Yes." she replied, obviously amused by his reaction. "Well? What do you think?" she smiled again. "Er. Very. er. Nice. Very nice." commented Percy, blinking hard. "Well, I'm glad you're here." she told him, "I was wondering just where you two had got to." "what are you doing?" demanded Percy, indicating the surrounding wizards. "Las time I saw you, you were doing your best to try and incinerate these guys!" "Eh? Oh that." answered Llama, "That was just a little... misunderstanding. I, uh, persuaded them of the error of their ways..." "Yeah, we saw the remains outside the gate." cut in Percy. "So what are you doing now? Dressed like that?" "Well, my clothes sort of got burnt up during the fight, so I had to borrow something, and this" she indicated the dress, "was the only thing they had small enough." "I'm NOT going to ask what a bunch of rambo lookalike wizards are doing with a little blue cocktail dress." commented Percy drily. "Anyway, it's good you're here," said Llama. "The wizard's have agreed to help us on our quest, by providing us with the latest in magical technology." "Magical technology." echoed Percy. "Yes," agreed one of the wizards, turning to face him. "Ah, Gurth, just the chap. Take these good people down to the labs, would you, and tell Kew to give them anything they want. Then you'd better go and pack." "Pack, sir?" asked Gurth. "Yes boy, pack. We've got to send a representative, and you've just been specially selected. It's a great honour, representing the power of the wizard's guild, and all that. Now off you go, don't keep our guests waiting." He waved Gurth away with one hand. Gurth turned and shrugged, then led them off to the labs.
The young red-headed girl pushed open the doors to the library. Immediately the murmur of discussion ceased. All the wizards turned to look at her. "Oh no, not another one." someone muttered. She let the lumpy sack slip from her shoulder to the floor. "Excuse me," she said, "but I don't suppose you've seen a girl come through here? Long black hair, rather attractive, acts a bit like a boy? Probably being followed by a tall gangly lad." "Oh." said a voice. "Her." "Yes." said another voice. "They're down in the labs right now. What can we do for you?" "You could stay out of my way," she said over her shoulder as she picked the sack up again and started out of the room, "and you could tell me where the labs are." she added.
Down in the labs, Llama and the others were being shown around the various research experiments that were underway. Percy walked up to an array of test-tubes and beakers and other glassware that contained various different coloured liquids. "What's this?" he asked, picking up a beaker of clear yellowish liquid and swirling it. "Careful!" admonished Gurth rushing forward to take the beaker from him. As he did so, he tripped on a loose tile, and flinging his hands up to catch himself whilst falling headlong forward, he knocked Percy's arm, causing him to jerk the beaker upwards and splash the liquid into his face. Percy choked, and coughed and spluttered, and dropped the beaker in surprise, rubbing at his eyes where the liquid had splashed him. He turned and started staggering back towards the others in the group, unable to see where he was going, as his eyes were streaming freely now. Gurth picked himself back up off the floor with a look of sheer horror on his face. "No!" he cried, "You mustn't touch..." Too late, Percy staggered clear into Llama, knocking her to the ground and falling over on top of her in the process. Whilst trying to recover himself from his position on the floor, face down on Llama's chest, he accidentally put one hand in her mouth, which was open with astonishment. Without realising he pushed himself up, trying to rise. Llama's immediate reaction to this was simple - she bit, hard. Percy screamed, and Llama let go. He jerked his hand away and nursed it to his chest, then examined the bleeding bite-marks in horror. Llama got to her feet. "You... you bit me!" he accused her. "You shoved your bloody hand in my mouth!" she retorted, spitting and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Oh, no!" groaned Gurth. "What the hell was that stuff, anyway?" asked Percy, towelling himself down with a piece of rag. "It was extract of Lycanth." replied Gurth. "What?" asked Percy. A look of horror shot across DeOre's face. "Extract of Lycanth." explained Gurth. "A disease which is spread by body fluids. Under certain factors it alters the genetic make-up of the host body's cells." "Eh?" asked Percy. A worried look shot across Llama's face. "You mean Lycanthropy?" she asked. "Yes." replied Gurth, "we were studying it to try and find a cure." "You mean I've got this disease?" protested Percy. "Oh no! What the hell is Lycanthropy anyway?" "It means your a were-wolf." explained Llama in a quiet voice. "Er, no, it doesn't actually, well, not exactly." interrupted Gurth. "You see, when the disease is passed on normally, in a bite, for example, then part of the original host's DNA is passed on with it, say in saliva or blood. The disease uses this DNA as the pattern it changes the host cells to. It is commonly believed that the disease originated in wolf country, hence the common knowledge of the existence of were-wolves. Once a were-wolf passes on the disease, the new victim would only be half were-wolf. If, however, he were bitten by something else, say a cat, then he'd become a were-cat." "So what was that sample from?" asked Percy, worriedly. "Am I going to be a were-wolf, or what?" "That sample was actually from a pig." explained Gurth. "But don't worry!" he added as he saw the murderous expression that crossed Percy's face, "It had been purified down. There was no pig DNA left in that sample, it was pure Lycanth virus." "Phew," sighed Percy, "You had me worried for a minute there." He glanced at his hand, which he had wrapped in a piece of rag to stop the bleeding. "Hold on..." "Yes." replied Gurth, "I'm afraid your right." "You mean" said Llama. "Oh no!" groaned Percy. "He's going to turn into a Were-Llama?" asked DeOre. "No." replied Gurth, puzzled, "He was bitten by her. A Girl, not a Llama. Since she's human, the virus shouldn't alter his DNA that much. He might change gender, but he will still be human. No, he's got to be careful not to come into contact with any seriously different DNA until we find him a cure. Where'd the Llama come into it?" "That's her name. And she's not exactly human. Oh hell." explained Percy. "Why me?" he asked. "Don't even think of answering that!" he shot a warning glance at Llama who had begun to open her mouth to reply. "It serves you right." she scolded, "You've always got to fiddle with everything, haven't you. Can't leave it alone." Percy shot her a thunderous black look.
Chapter 22: Eight words to inspire total fear into someone - "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."
"Oh great." moaned Percy. "So at the next full moon I get to turn into a woman. Or worse. What happens then, do I roam the countryside looking for some poor victim to bite?" "Uh, no, not exactly." said Gurth. "The disease responds to lunar gravity, which is of course strongest about the time of the Full Moon, just like the tides. The physical transformation is not entirely one-hundred percent to start with, but the brain patterns do tend to alter to that of the new shape. You'll do whatever you as a woman would do." "Wait a minute," cut in Percy, "Go back a bit. Not one-hundred percent? You mean I'll still be half-bloke?" "Not exactly," replied Gurth, "It's all down to the reproductive cycle of the virus. Normally the virus is not infecting every cell in the body by the time of the first full moon, or even the second, and so not every cell in the body changes, which allows the body to return to it's original form, but..." "But?" asked Percy. "But, unfortunately when the cells transform, the virus breaks down the original host DNA, leaving only the substitute. So every transformation, the return to the original form is a little less complete, until eventually, the victim is permanently transformed into the substitute creature." "Fantastic." wailed Percy. "You mean I'm going to turn into a woman permanently?" "Yep. That's about right." agreed Gurth. Llama shook her head. "Is there anything else I should know?" asked Percy. "Anything else you haven't told me yet? What about a cure?" "Er." said Gurth. "Well, there isn't a cure. We were still working on it, and it will take months to prepare another pure sample of Lycanth virus. Oh, and there's one other little thing. Unfortunately that was a particularly potent batch of lycanth virus, and the transformation may not be restricted to night-time around the period of the full moon, but may actually occur during day-time as well." "How long have I got?" asked Percy resignedly. "Huh? You'll live the same length as the normal life-span of whatever creature you become." Gurth shrugged. "No," explained Percy, "I meant how long have I got until the first full moon?" "Oh!" realised Gurth, "I'd say about three days." Percy turned to face Llama. "This is all your fault!" he cried, shaking his finger at her furiously. "My fault?" Llama asked, surprised. "Yes!", he cried, "You went and bit me!" "Um. Gurth?" asked Llama, "Just when is all this likely to start? The change, I mean." "Well," mused Gurth, "Give it a day or two for the disease to spread around his entire body, and the full moon to come into strength before the first change occurs..." "That quick?" asked Llama, shocked. "I'm afraid so." sighed Gurth. "Anyway, nothing we can do about that now. How about getting what you came for?" "Okay." agreed Llama, following him to another part of the laboratories. DeOre and Percy tagged along behind.
Gurth led them over to a bench with a strange-looking contraption mounted on it, surrounded by men in white lab-coats. He talked to one of the men in a low voice for a couple of minutes, then turned back to the group. "I think you might find this, uh, interesting." he told them. One of the men started fiddling with the device on the bench. He twiddled a few dials, pressed a couple of switches, and waited. When nothing happened, he slapped it hard on the side. A low, barely audible wine built up in a slow crescendo. Satisfied, he stepped back. "What does it do?" Percy asked. "Watch that block of stone on the bench over there." instructed Gurth. They did as they were told. Suddenly a beam of red light shot out from the side of the machine, hitting the block squarely on one side. The beam of light swung upwards until it located the upper edge of the block. Once it had found that, it proceeded to sweep left and right, locating the sides of the block. Once it had done that, the beam widened until it encompassed the entire face. The beam of red light changed colour now, cycling through orange, yellow, green, then blue, and finally purple. Whilst this was going on, the block seemed to be shaking and vibrating, so fast that all they could actually see of it was a blur. A door on the other side of the bench flew open. Suddenly everything went quiet. The whine stopped, as did the beam of multi-coloured light, and the stone block disappeared in a cloud of smoke, which quickly spread to fill the room.
As the smoke cleared, a strange figure could be made out in the doorway. Coughing and spluttering, one of the scientists approached. As he got closer, he could see that in fact the figure was a slender young girl, with a large lumpy sack thrown over one shoulder. Bending down, he picked a cable up off the floor and examined the plug on the end, ruefully. It appeared to still be intact. "What happened?" asked Llama, coming into view as the smoke cleared some more. "Oh, hello. Who's she?" "I dunno," answered the technician, "But when she opened the door, she knocked the plug out." "Hello, Llama." said the girl in a sarcastic tone of voice, "lost something?" "No I don't think..." started Llama, answering the question, then "How did you..?". Her eyes fell on the lumpy sack. "Oh no! That isn't?" she asked, pointing. "Isn't what?" asked Percy, coming to stand behind her. "Who's this?" he eyed the slender red-head with a hungry look in his eyes. "Um, er, uh." stuttered Llama. "Yours I believe." stated the girl, thrusting the lumpy sack into Llama's arms. "To answer your question, Percy, I'm Amanda." A look of disbelief crossed Percy's face. "Yes, it is me." she continued. "This is a 'spare' body. When I lost contact with Llama in my body, I found myself back in the cave. So I downloaded into this backup bod, and followed the signal of the tracker unit in Llama's body to find you lot here." "When did you go?" asked Llama, "I thought you'd gone quiet." "Huh! It was nice of you to notice!" snorted Amanda. "It was when you played with that damn amulet. It must of generated some sort of feedback in my circuits." "Oh." mumbled Llama. "So? What's in the sack?" asked Percy, impatiently. Llama opened the top of the sack. A familiar unconscious face was revealed. "Oh! It's your body." pointed out Percy. "I must have dropped it outside the gates. Lucky Amanda found it." "Yeah." gulped Llama, "I'd uh, forgotten about it." she admitted guiltily. Gurth looked at the body in the sack, then at Llama. He looked puzzled. "I don't understand..." he said. "Nevermind." Percy told him, "It's a long story. I'll explain later." "Oh yeah." interrupted Amanda. "By the way, I almost forgot. We've got to leave. Now. There isn't much time." "Much time to what?" asked Percy. "Much time to continue this quest." replied Amanda. "You've been taking far too long up to now. You've actually been here a week. I did some calculations, and by my reckoning, you've only got about another five weeks before your stuck here." "Stuck...?" echoed Llama. "Yes." explained Amanda. "The more time you spend in this dimension, the more permanently you become 'attached' to it. Anything that happens to you here will actually affect you, even of you make it back to your own world, so be careful. If you get hurt or killed, you really will be hurt or killed. I figure that if you don't return to your own dimension after six weeks, you will be permanently stuck here. That leaves you with five more weeks to finish this quest and you aren't going to make it at the rate you're going!" "Hold on." interrupted Llama, "So what you're saying is, that I actually am stuck with this body? Even if we go back to our world?" "Yes!" agreed Percy. "Don't you remember? You were wondering why you were still a girl when we transported to London!" "Oh great!" moaned Llama. "So you mean I'm stuck like this? I'm permanently a girl?" "Yes," agreed Amanda, "unless you find a way back into your own body in the next five weeks. Speaking of which, we'd better get your group together and get a move on."
By the time the small group made it's way back to the inn to rejoin their companions, it was early evening. They bustling city had quietened off during the scorching heat of mid-afternoon, and was now beginning to come to life again. Everyone had returned from their little jaunts, and been introduced to Amanda. After a great deal of explaining as to what Llama was doing in Amanda's first body, and how come she had a second, amongst other things, they got around to the business in hand and proceeded to plan their quest. It was generally considered that due to the short timescale involved, they would have to travel on horse-back, forgoing the pleasure of having any sort of wagon along as it would prove too slow. They also decided that there was no point to wait till morning, and so they would leave that evening, taking breaks in the journey only when it proved absolutely necessary, and travelling almost constantly the rest of the time.
Whilst all this discussion was going on, Percy's mind was elsewhere. he was rather worried by what had happened earlier that day, and was staring at his reflection in the dirty window-pane. A pretty young face framed by soft red curls appeared over his reflection's shoulder. "A penny for them?" Megan asked. "Huh?" replied Percy, not understanding. "What's up?" she asked. Percy explained to here about Llama, Amanda, The Maker, the events of the day, and the "accident" at the wizards lab. When he had finished, he looked thoroughly downhearted by it all. "Oh." commented Megan. "I see. Well don't worry, it's not that bad." "What's not that bad?" asked Llama, coming over and joining them. "Being a girl." explained Megan. "Something Percy's got to look forward to, thanks to you. Mind you, you seem to be enjoying it." she commented, "Where DID you get that dress? It's very flattering!" "Uh, I had a wizard conjure it up for me." replied Llama. "Besides, I'm not a girl. I'm a man, I just happen to be temporarily stuck in this body. Believe me when I say I want my own body back!" "Huh!" snorted Percy, "As If I'd believe that! You're loving every minute of it! At least you're body's half-robot, so you can fight and stuff far better than you normally could. Plus you're The Maker, so if you really wanted to, you could just change anything you didn't like. Not to mention that you're now a total babe. I don't know what I'm going to turn into, I mean, what if I turn out to be a total dog as a girl? I can't do anything about it, cos it really is me. And my body will be flesh and blood. You know what that means? I'll get tired, I'll get hurt, physically, not just emotionally, and I'll get the curse, which means PMT." "Sounds like you've already got it." commented Llama drily. "Anyway, this body is more real than you think. Oh sure, I can do some fancy tricks in it, but it's still mostly flesh and blood. And as for me being The Maker, well you know I still have no idea how to make that work. Don't worry, it'll all work out okay. We'll find you a cure. Besides, it could be worse. You could get bitten by a bug or something, and turn into a were-cockroach." "That's not all." moaned Percy. "It's a real bummer of a situation. I mean, I don't fancy you, Llama, cos I know who you are. But that body! And what happens when I change? I think I'd die if I started fancying men, and if I fancy another girl, then that's queer too! I can't win! What the hell do YOU fancy now?" "Uh." said Llama, frowning. "I see what you mean. To ease your mind, I definitely do NOT fancy men. I think I must still fancy women, cos I don't half fancy Amanda in her new body. And I really fancy myself when I see this body in the mirror!" "Pervert." muttered Percy. Megan looked from Llama to Percy and back again. "Men!" she snorted, and went to talk to Amanda. "I'm going to go and change." said Llama, standing up. "Oh yeah, what into?" asked Percy, "A man? A horse?" "No, some clothes I can ride a horse in." replied Llama calmly, "This dress is hard enough to walk in without showing the fact that I'm not wearing underwear. I am NOT riding a horse in it!" "You're not wearing..." Percy trailed off, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping as he leaned forward and down, trying to get a look. The rest of the room went silent at this comment too, and turned to look at Llama, leaving her stood embarrassed in the middle of the room. She looked round in horror, and crossed her legs quickly. Slowly she sidled towards the stairs, making a dash for it as she reached the bottom step. The slit in the short skirt spread wide for a moment in her haste, revealing a perfect view of her naked bum. A cheer arose from the bar, and her speed doubled up the staircase.
Chapter 23: It's all YOUR fault!
It was late in the evening when the party of adventurer's were ready to leave, although it was still light. H'Rutt had managed to acquire mounts for them all, although they didn't inquire as to where from. As they rode through the dusty streets, a clattering of hooves on the road behind them signalled the rapid approach of another rider. It was Gurth, and he was carrying a large wooden box. "I'm glad I caught you!" he declared as he drew alongside. "You almost left without me! And this!" "Oh." said Llama. "Well, it's nice to have you along." smiled Percy. Gurth beamed at him.
They rode along in silence, listening to the evening hubbub of the city streets about them. Eventually, the North gates appeared somewhere ahead of them. Percy peered at the box that Gurth was carrying. Eventually he could stand it no more. "What's in the box?" he asked. "Huh? Oh, it's Saloman's Hyper-Intensive Trapiventor." explained Gurth. "What?" asked Percy. "It emits a beam which trapivents the target material." explained Gurth. "What?" asked Percy again. "Eh? Oh, it would take too long to explain," said Gurth, "But basically it saps the magical aura of whatever it is aimed at. This automatically makes the target a natural earth for any 'loose' magical energy in the area, with quite disastrous results for the target concerned." "Oh." said Percy. "I see." They rode on, through the northern gates of the city and out into the countryside beyond, where their horses broke into a loping canter. Ahead of them the mountain stretched up into the cloudline. Before they reached that far though, they still had to pass through the great forest which spanned the lower slopes of the mountain. A dark green mass of pine trees stood between them and the cloudline, and it did not look like easy country to traverse. The horses cantered steadily onward, following the dirt road that led into the heart of the forest ahead. Soon the field's that lay to either side of the road gave way to bushes, then the bushes gave way to trees. Pretty soon the last of the days light was obscured by the gloom of the forest. It wasn't long before the party were riding along in the dark, trusting to the horses instincts to follow the trail. Beast loped off, scouting the trail ahead, the dark meaning little to him since he had excellent night-vision.
Llama glanced at his travelling companions and ran through a list of each and their attributes in her mind. First, of course, there was Percy - a loyal and trusted friend, who always seemed to get dragged into these things (adventures) by Llama. Whilst not much use in a fight, (or out of one for that matter), he was good-natured enough and had a sort of buoyant undefeatable optimism that everything would turn out alright in the end. This was the first time however that he had encountered any real problems that affected him directly (namely becoming a were-person) and Llama was not too sure how he would cope. Just have to wait and see. Next on the list came Yeti. Hmmm. Whilst Yeti definitely had his faults, (well, who out of them didn't?) Llama was certain that he had hidden talents which would come to the fore in a real confrontation. Meanwhile his real talent lay in his astounding ability to remember data - hence he had memorised all the maps of the region they could lay their hands on before they left. Then there was Sick. He was a veteran, from his college days, of surviving Llama's adventures, and could be relied on to take the line of greatest self-presentation most of the time. His main strength in combat was his technique of hitting the opposition so hard and so fast that they didn't have time to realise that he really wasn't much good in a fight at all. H'Rutt - the barbarian Hero. Here was someone who could be relied upon in a fight - a man who had in the past fought whole armies single-handedly and won. Strong as a couple of oxen, and about the same size to boot, there wasn't much could harm them with H'Rutt around. Amanda - was an unknown equation, although it was one she would probably be able to calculate. Her female nature didn't seem to contradict her fiercely logical nature, and she could handle herself (and almost everyone else too) extremely well in almost any situation. Llama was glad to have her back amongst them, even if it was in her "spare" body, since Llama was stuck in her first one. Who else was there? Oh yes, Beast. Llama was surprised to realise how little she knew of Beast, but he did seem like a dependable sort of, er, monster. Only time would tell. Megan. Llama glanced at the red-headed girl riding beside her, and noticed she was dozing lightly in the saddle. Llama could not figure out what had made Megan decide to join them on this dangerous journey, but her medical skills would undoubtedly come in handy. Oof was riding a couple of yards behind, still in full armour. He had an alert look on his face, and appeared to be taking all this journey business most seriously. Gurth was riding alongside Percy, and seemed happy enough to be riding with them. The box had been slung across his back on a couple of straps like a ruck-sack. Llama noticed that from time to time he glanced at Percy and smiled, and warning bells went off in the back of her head. She ignored them. DeOre was riding on the other side of Percy, and Llama was glad to have the little wizard along. His magical support had already proved it's effectiveness in battle. Yes, all in all they were a fairly good bunch to be travelling with, thought Llama. They certainly should be able to handle anything they came across.
Beast emerged from the gloom ahead of them. He wandered up to H'Rutt and began talking to him in a low voice. H'Rutt reigned in his horse and signalled for the party to halt. "Beast says there's something on the trail up ahead." he told them. "He's not too sure what it is, but it's big. Very big. Llama, I want you, Oof and DeOre to dismount and come with me. We're going to sneak round through the woods and try and find out what this thing is, and if there is any way around it. I want everyone else to stay here, and for Krom's sake, keep quiet." So saying he dismounted, and stalked off into the woods, followed quickly by the others. Percy watched them go. He turned to Yeti. Yeti looked back at him. he had the same idea written all across his face. "Bugger!" swore Yeti, wiping his face down. "If I catch whoever it is who keeps writing all over my face, I'll kill 'em!" "You're thinking what I'm thinking." said Percy. "I hope not!" protested Yeti. "When you two have stopped messing about," suggested Amanda, "are we going after them or what?" "But... but H'Rutt told us to wait here!" protested Sick. Megan gave him a disgusted look. "Who elected H'Rutt leader of this expedition?" she asked. "As far as I was aware, you lot were all following Llama around. So doesn't it make sense to stick as close to her as possible?" "You're right, of course." agreed Yeti. "Let's go!"
Llama stared out at the road form the bushes where she and H'Rutt hid. "I don't believe it." she muttered under her breath, "I see it, but I don't believe it! It can't be..." "Oh, it's a bloody dragon alright." H'Rutt assured her, "trouble is, how are we going to get past it? we can't lead the horses through the woods quietly enough to sneak past, and if it's at all typical of dragons, it could decide to sit there for months while it contemplates its scaly navel." "So what do you suggest?" asked Llama. "Well, I think we'd better try and find an alternative route." said H'Rutt, "I don't think going up to it and asking it to move is a very good idea... oh shit." Even as he suggested it, Llama was leaving the cover of the bushes and strolling out to the middle of the road in front of the huge lizard. "What the hell is she doing?" Amanda asked H'Rutt as she crept alongside. "What does it look like?" he replied, "She's going to ask it to move. Nicely, I hope." "Oh, shit. Of all the dumb bloody things to do..." cussed Amanda. Percy, Yeti and the others watched from behind the bushes in disbelief, as Llama walked up to the sleeping dragon and kicked it on the snout. "Oh, No, no, no!" murmured H'Rutt softly.
After kicking the beast on the snout, Llama took a step backwards. A huge, scaly eyelid slid open, and a rainbow-hued eye stared at her. The other eye shot open, and they blinked several times, as if disbelieving exactly what they saw before them. The huge head lifted off the ground slightly, and stretched forward till it almost touched Llama, sniffing. She stood there calmly, without flinching. The head backed away, and cocked to one side, as if that way it could examine her better.
"Oh shit. Not again." moaned the huge beast in a voice that rumbled in nearby valleys. "Huh?" asked Llama. "Not what again?" "Not YOU again." explained the dragon. "No sooner do I finally recover from the last time you decided to pay one of your visits, but when I try to take a well-earned nap, who comes along to wake me up? You do. It's just not bloody fair. What did I ever do to you, that's what I want to know. Except in self-defence, I mean." "Huh?" asked Llama again, "What are you talking about?" "Oh come on," moaned the dragon, peering closer at her, "You may be in that clever disguise, but I KNOW it's still you, Llama. Don't play the innocent with me. Come on, get it over with. Hit me, stab me, slice me up with that damn sword of yours, or whatever else you're going to do, I don't care any more, just do it." "I'm not going to do anything like that," Llama explained patiently, "Look, I'm un-armed. All I was going to do was to ask you if you'd mind moving out the way, please." "Wha..?" flustered the dragon, peering so close at Llama that she could almost reach out and touch the huge iridescent eyeball. "I don't believe it. You, un-armed? mind you, that is a superb disguise! Now tell, me, really, where are you hiding that blade of yours? And don't tell me that disguise is THAT good!" Llama blushed, angrily, then answered "Look, I don't know what you are talking about. This is no disguise, it's real, and I don't have a sword. I'm in a real hurry to get somewhere, and you are blocking the road. We can't ride around you, so I'm asking you to move. Nicely." "I don't believe it..." muttered the dragon, more to itself than to anyone else. "And what if I refuse to move?" "Then I'll have to make you move, and I probably won't be able to be so nice about it," explained Llama, exasperatedly. "Ah ha! That's more like the Llama I know!" roared the dragon triumphantly, causing those hiding in the shrubbery to quake in fear. From down the road came the sound of galloping hooves. "Oops!" he added. "I think I just frightened off your horses..." "Great. Just Great." said Amanda, stalking out from the bushes. Now we're going to have to walk to the Monastery." Llama sighed, and shook her head, a movement which caused a few strands of raven-black hair to break loose from being tied back and wisp forward across her face. "Sorry." shrugged the huge lizard, "Uh, I think I'll be going now..." "Wait!" ordered Llama. "You can't go yet!" "Why not?" asked the dragon, hesitantly. "You scared away the horses, you can give us a ride to the monastery." said Llama. "WHAT?" bellowed the dragon. "WHAT!" screamed Amanda. "What?" shrieked H'Rutt, and most of the others emerging from their hiding places in the bushes. "Give us a ride, to the monastery." repeated Llama. "It'll be a hell of alot quicker than walking!" "I don't suppose I have a choice in the matter?" asked the dragon, then, observing Llama's expression, "No I thought not. I suppose you know what the monks will do to me if they catch me? Not that you care, of course." The others, with expressions varying from total disbelief to mutiny and murder walked forward to put forward all their arguments as to why Llama's idea was a bad one. It didn't matter, in the end they all had to agree it was the most pragmatic solution. Soon they were all mounted on the beast's back as the dragon launched itself into the air with a huge jump. Gliding along a scant hundred feet above the trees, they fought to hang on as the dragon beat it's powerful wings. The landscape flew past underneath them at a rapid pace, much faster than they could have travelled on horse-back. Soon, a long, low wall loomed on the mountainside ahead of them. Shortly after they glided over a second such wall, and the dragon started to follow a steep track up the mountain towards the summit. As they climbed the air grew thinner, and the dragons rate of climb grew slower. Eventually after what must have been several hours total flight, the dragon set his huge frame down on a rocky ledge, outside a small cave near the mountain's peak. Once the party had dismounted, he quickly flew away, with only a curt "Bye!" as a farewell. "Well, we're here." said Llama, stating the obvious once more. "Now what?" asked Percy.
Chapter 24: Just because I act the fool doesn't mean I'm stupid!
"We go in." suggested H'Rutt, leading the way into the cave. "Now why didn't I think of that?" pondered Yeti sarcastically, as he followed him in.
Inside the cavern was dark. What little light that penetrated through the mouth of the cave failed quite miserably to show any detail of the floor or walls, beyond that there did in fact appear to be some. "How come," asked Llama, "That caves in stories always seem to have perfectly flat floors? I mean, real caves just aren't anything like that." so saying, she disappeared from view. "Oh shit." came her voice from somewhere below. Percy knelt by the edge of the pit at the bottom of which Llama was lying and rubbing a knee ruefully. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Yeah. Me and my big mouth." she replied. "What's that behind you?" asked Sick, peering down into the gloom. Llama reached behind her and her hand closed over something long, cold and hard. It was lying amongst a pile of similar objects. Turning round, she commented, "Oh, it's only a pile of old bones..." "No, not that," said Sick, "That over there. The big dark blob. There, the one that just growled." "Oh shit." repeated Llama, "Uh, guys, like could someone throw me a sword? Please?" "What for?" asked Percy, "You're supposed to be invisible, aren't you?" "That's invincible, you twit." corrected Yeti. "Whatever." said Percy, "Why doesn't she just put on that silver armour suit of hers?" "Because I don't want to be stuck running around stark naked again," explained Llama from the depths of the pit, backing away from the dark brown blob that was now growling louder at her and getting larger, and besides, I'd feel safer with a sword. I mean, there's like a few chewed tins and stuff down here, and I'd hate to see what that thing could do to my leg, even with the armour on." "Oh." said Percy, "Well, why don't you just get on and kill it? Zap it with a fireball or something." "I can't kill it!" protested Llama. "Why not?" asked Percy, "It looks like it wants to kill you." "Because I don't believe in being cruel to animals." explained Llama, "I just can't. Oh shit!" The thing unfolded and sprang through the air at her, a mass of fangs and teeth flying ahead of a dark brown lump of fur. Llama dive and rolled to the other side of the pit. The thing crashed into the wall behind where Llama had been, and rolled to its feet hissing and spitting. It fixed Llama with a baleful glare. "Nice kitty." coaxed Llama. The panther replied with a hiss.
Elsewhere in the extensive network of caves, there is a pool. The cavern is fairly well lit by globes glowing on the walls. A variety of comfy-looking (if slightly worn) furniture is sprinkled around the room, along with a couple of rugs on the floor, and a wood-burning fireplace at one end puts a cosy glow in the air. The pool sits in the middle of the room, in a slightly raised crater. A strange glow emanates from the pool and the still mirror-like surface does not reflect the rugged ceiling. Instead, the image floating in the pool is that of the other cave, and the scenario with Llama in the pit. Sat in a bean-bag, watching this scene is the hermit. A look of mild amusement crosses the calm features, and the corner of the mouth turns up in a wry grin. One hand picks up something that looks suspiciously like a T.V. remote control, and presses a button. The noises from the other cave fill the room, in full surround sound. Pressing another button, the scene in the pool changes - it's now the view from another chamber, with a pile of bedding straw in one corner, a couple of half-chewed rubber bones, and a feeding/water trough built into one wall. A small bell above the trough rings and the chamber lights up, revealing something that looks suspiciously like dog or cat-food slides from a small chute in the wall to fill the trough. The large black panther trots into the room in response to the bell, and begins to eat from the trough, pausing only long enough to stare disapprovingly at the iron gate that slides shut over the entrance to the chamber.
"Where the hell did that panther go?" asked Percy, staring down into the pit where Llama was still crouched. "I don't know, and I don't want to find out!" replied Llama, "I just want to get the hell outta here, now!" "How are you planning to do that?" asked Percy, "You think you're going to just jump out?" "Why not?" came Amanda's voice from over his shoulder, "She's capable of it." Llama looked disbelievingly at them both for a second, then shrugged. "Okay, I'll try anything. Stand back, here I come!" she warned, bending at the knees and springing upward. "Not that hard!" warned Amanda, but it was too late. Llama catapulted out of the pit, crashing head-first with bone-jarring force and a sickening crunch into the rocky roof of the cave. Her companions watched as her limp, crumpled body fell, almost in slow motion, back into the depths of the pit. "Shit!" said Yeti, "That's gotta hurt!"
Between them, the companions managed to retrieve Llama's unconscious body from the pit. Megan examined Llama's cut's and bruises from the fall, and the bump on her head and announced, "Well, at least it doesn't need stitching. It doesn't feel like she's broken anything, but until she wakes up there's no way to be sure that there isn't some more serious damage. That's if she wakes up, of course." Beast, who'd been exploring the passageways at the back of the cave, returned just then to announce that deeper into the cave network appeared to be inhabited, although by whom, he could not guess. "Well," said Percy, "I guess it must be that Hermit-guy we came here to see. H'Rutt, you carry Llama, Me and Yeti will carry Llama's body. Lead on, Beast." H'Rutt knelt down and picked up the unconscious Llama, carrying her cradled in his arms. Percy and Yeti each picked up one end of the large sack containing Llama's body. After a brief argument, they agreed it would be easier to carry if they picked up opposite ends of the sack. The entire entourage followed Beast into the darkness at the back of the cavern. After stumbling down dark and winding tunnels for a few hundred yards, they came across the first lit passageway. Glowing globes spread at even intervals every couple of yards or so flooded the corridor with light, and underfoot the rock was smooth and swept clean. They got a short distance down the lit passageway when they found their path blocked by a large, rough-hewn, man-shaped stone statue. "Great!" exclaimed Percy, dropping his end of the sack, so that it landed with a sickening thud. "how are we supposed to get round that? H'Rutt, can you move it?" "I can try," said H'Rutt, "Here, hold her a minute," and he transferred Llama to Percy's arms. Striding forward, he wrapped his massive arms around the huge stone statue and strained. The huge muscles corded and knotted, and beads of sweat began to form on his skin. The veins in his neck started to stand out, and with an audible grunt, and a loud rasping sound, the statue moved a whole half of an inch. H'Rutt collapsed in a panting heap on the floor, gasping for breath, the sweat now pouring off his trembling body. "I... I can't do it..." he gasped, when he had recovered enough to speak, "It's too damn heavy." "Mind out," warned Amanda, forcing her way forward to the statue. Bracing her feet on the floor, slightly apart, she rested her hands on the statues waist and pushed. The statue slid backwards for three or four feet, then, catching on something on the floor, slowly toppled over backwards with an almighty crash. "There!" exclaimed Amanda, triumphantly, "That's how to do it!" Percy's jaw hit the floor with and audible crack. His eyeballs Yeti and Gurth were staring open mouthed at the fallen statue. "Did you see what I saw?" asked Yeti. "I think so," replied Gurth. "Impressed or what, then, eh lads?" asked Amanda. "Er. Or what." replied Yeti. "Amanda! Look behind you!" exclaimed Percy, suddenly figuring out how to work his mouth again. Amanda did so. Slowly, behind her, the Statue was pushing itself up from the floor. It looked very pissed off. "Oh shit." said Amanda. "A Golem. A fucking stone Golem. And I just pissed it off. Oh shit!" H'Rutt pushed himself to his feet and staggered into the rest of the companions. "Run!" he urged them, "There's no way to fight one of these things!" "Yes," agreed Amanda, "Run!" and with that, they all turned and legged it back down the corridor towards the waiting darkness. All except Gurth. Gurth was busy struggling with the stiff leather strap that held shut the box he was carrying. The Golem had now succeeded in getting to it's feet, and had turned to find it's foe. It's stony gaze focused on Gurth kneeling on the floor a short distance up the corridor. Having got the box open, Gurth started to set up the strange projector. The Golem shuffled slowly towards him. Having hurriedly arranged the device in the proper configuration ready to fire, Gurth picked up the long cable and plug and looked about for a socket. The companions, having realised someone was missing, stopped and turned to gaze back down the lit passageway. They watched Gurth's strange behaviour as the stone giant lumbered ever closer. "Idiot" mumbled Percy, "Where the hell does he think he's going to plug it in? Some great weapon that is." Gurth, glancing rapidly around the corridor for a socket, finally spotted what he wanted a short distance back up the corridor, and sprinted for it. At the same time, the Golem, thinking that it's prey was trying to escape, roared and broke into a shambling charge. Gurth looked back over his shoulder at the now rapidly approaching angry rock, screamed, and dived for the socket. Unfortunately, the cable from the plug to the device was just to short, and as Gurth yanked the cable to reach the plug, he dragged the machine backwards a couple of feet, causing it to tilt over backwards, so that it no longer pointed at the Golem, but at the ceiling overhead instead. Gurth failed to notice this as he plugged it in, and the machine quickly built up to an ear-splitting hum and a purple beam of light shot out of the lens and struck the ceiling. The ceiling, where it had been struck by the light, began to glow incandescently, in a myriad of colours, spreading out in all directions from the original spot. The rock began to sag downwards, as if melting, until it enveloped the Golem trapped beneath it. The Golem roared in anger and struggled furiously to break free of the melting glowing rock that was enveloping it, but was unable to break free, like a fly trapped in toffee. A globule of glowing rock landed on the device. Something in the machine sparked and fizzled and the beam of purple light died. A wisp of sad-looking smoke snaked out from a grill at the back of the machine. The Golem roared again, and redoubled it's effort to break free. The rock was now changing colours rapidly, and multi-coloured sparks were flashing all over it, like fireworks, as it slowly totally engulfed the Golem. Something strange was happening, however. Everywhere the sparks were appearing, the glowing rock was disappearing, as if it were evaporating into thin air. Soon there were huge gaps visible where the Golem and rock had been, and not long after, the corridor was empty. Percy and the others shuffled forward and looked at the blackened hole in the roof of the tunnel in awe. Gurth was busy examining the broken machine. "Drat!" he moaned, "I guess that's it. The damn generating crystal's burnt out. I sincerely hope we don't meet any more of those things." He looked up, and glanced further down the corridor. "Hello, who are you?" he asked.
Chapter 25: A A mouth kept closed gathers no foot.
The Hermit surveyed the rag-tag group with a look of annoyance on her face. "What d'you have to go and do that for?" she asked in a low-pitched sultry voice. "Eh? Do what for?" asked Percy, unwittingly oggling her slender figure. "Go and bloody well zap my Golem!" she snapped, pointing a finger under his nose. Percy fought down a sudden urge to snap at it. He felt it probably wouldn't be a wise move. "Well it was bloody well attackin' us!" snapped Percy back. "What were we s'pposed to do, let it bloody well kill us?" "Well you could've just stopped it!" she snapped back. She looked like she was about ready to wallop Percy. "Now, now, I'm sure we're all very sorry about the Golem," soothed Amanda, stepping forward and putting herself between Percy and the Hermit. "If we had had time, we might have done things differently, but as it was, it was a matter of self-preservation. I'm sure you understand." But the Hermit wasn't looking at Amanda. She was looking past her, past Percy, at Sick. "Sick?" she shrieked. "Oh my gawd, it IS you!" Sick blinked in disbelief. "Oh no!" he muttered to himself, "It's Lee-Anne!" "Who?" asked Percy. "Oh, I think she was one of Llama's friends at college," explained Sick, "I always wondered what had happened to her." "What are you doing here?" demanded the Hermit. "And where's Llama? and who are all these people?" "Have you got somewhere we can sit down?" asked Sick, "I think we're going to need to. And a large drink wouldn't go amiss either." "Sure," replied the Hermit, "Follow me." and she led them back to the living quarters in the caves.
"Nice place you've got here," complimented Percy, as they lounged about the pool-room on various chairs and bean-bags. Llama's body was removed from the sack and laid out on a rug. Llama was led unconscious next to it. "Now let me see if I've got this right," asked the Hermit. "Although that's Llama's body led there, that's not Llama. She's really him, or rather, he's in her body. And she is really her over there." she pointed at Amanda sat in the corner. "That's about it," agreed Sick. "And she is Amanda, I mean really Llama's Amanda, only she's not just a program any more, but she's real. And Llama's really some sort of God here." "Yup." nodded Sick. "And you're all stuck here, just like I've been for the last five years, and now you're trying to find a way out." "That's it!" agreed Sick. "By the way, what are you doing here, Lee-Anne?" "Well," she explained, "I was with Llama, and we'd been drinking in the bar, see, and we went into one of the computer rooms at college to see if all his MUD stuff was still there. And it was, and I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was here, and he'd gone. And I've been stuck here ever since with no idea of how to get out." "Wait a minute," interrupted Sick, "You mean this place is all based on Llama's MUD area?" (MUD - Multi-User-Dungeon - a multiple player computer text adventure game played on large networks, where parts of the game can be "created" by certain privileged players.) "Well, some of it is," said Lee-Anne, "but I soon found there was loads more here than I ever saw on the computers. There's some really weird stuff in some of the other caves. I want to ask him about that." she added in a low voice. "Tell me," continued Sick, "is Elly still here?" "Yes, of course." replied Lee-Anne, "How do you think I've been living all this time?" "Great!" replied Sick, beaming a smile all round the room. Most of the others ignored him, or looked puzzled. "Who's Elly?" asked Percy. "A herd of Elephants." said Sick. "Sorry," he added, "In Llama's MUD system, he created an object which, for reasons known only to Llama, he called a Herd Of Elephants. It eventually became a computer system based within his MUD that controlled all of this, his 'living' quarters, as well as running an extensive database of his ~world~. He never did change the name of it, so it became known as Elly for short." "Oh." said Percy.
Megan looked up from where she knelt on the floor next to the unconscious Llama. "Well," she said, "I've done everything I can. There doesn't seem to be any serious damage, just some minor cuts and bruising. And she's going to have one hell of a head-ache when she wakes up. I don't know what those bones of hers are made of, but her skull should have cracked like an eggshell under that blow, and the fall should have broken something." "Great," said Percy, "So how do we wake her up?" "We don't." replied Megan, "I've tried everything I know to wake her. She'll either wake up in her own time, or she won't." "Won't?" asked Percy, worried. "There's no way of telling if there's any serious brain-damage until she wakes up," explained Megan, "If there is, she may never wake up." "Oh!" exclaimed Yeti, "That's alright then. No need to worry." "Why not?" asked Megan, puzzled. "Cos Llama hasn't got a brain to damage," explained Percy, "So she'll be alright." "Besides," added Yeti, "We wouldn't be that lucky." "That's charming!" commented Megan, "Some friends you two are!" "You don't know Llama like we do," muttered Percy, darkly.
"Did I hear you mention a computer just now?" Yeti asked Sick. "Yes," replied Sick, "I think we should go and see what it knows. Coming?" he asked. "Sure!" agreed Yeti, "Let's go!" "Wait for me." called Gurth, scrambling to his feet and following the other two out of the room. "Well," said Megan, "Is there anywhere in this place where we can get cleaned up, and get something to eat?" "Sure!" Lee told her, "Follow me." and she led Megan, Percy, Amanda and the others out of the room.
Llama found himself wandering in a red mist. There was a weight on his shoulders, and he realised it belonged to a Dwarf. Every time he took a step, the Dwarf banged him on top the head with a plank. He tried to dislodge the dwarf, and succeeded, but the little fellow still followed him around and banged him on the head with the plank. There was a path through the mist, and he began to run along it, in the hope that the dwarf would not be able to keep up. Faster and faster he ran, aware only of the pain in his head, the foot-steps of the dwarf behind him and the roaring of his blood in his veins. He ran full tilt into a large green scaly wall. No, it wasn't a wall, it was a hide. He became aware that the roaring wasn't in his head, but was filling the air around him. A huge, scaly head loomed out of the mist and peered at him, roaring in agony. "YOU!" boomed the dragon, "This is all YOUR fault!" and lunged at him, giant teeth gnashing as the mammoth jaw snapped at him. The dwarf scampered off in terror, disappearing into the mist. Llama dived to one side, rolling out of the way. "What?" he protested, "What is my fault?" The dragon roared in answer and lunged at him again, trying to swat him from the side simultaneously with a huge clawed foot. Llama deftly avoided the head, but the tip of one claw caught him across the chest, leaving a long red sore mark. "Youch!" yelled Llama, backing away. "What the hell was that for?" "Hah!" roared the dragon in response, swiping at him with it's tail and one of it's hind feet. Llama leapt backwards to avoid both. "I've had enough of this!" he cried, holding his hand out in front of him. In answer to his summons, a huge two handed sword flew out of the mist to land ready to use in his grip. The blade was inscribed with mystic runes and a large amber gemstone glowed in the pommel of the handle. The dragon hissed at the sight of the sword, and redoubled the fury of his attacks. Llama swiped at each foot as it flew towards him, and smote the beast squarely on the snout when it tried to bite him. Flame ran the length of the blade and left burning cuts in the dragon's hide. The dragon roared in agony, and backed off, eyeing the burning blade warily. With a roar, the huge beast charged forward, mouth agape, fangs each a foot long dripping with saliva, as he breathed a huge long spout of flame directly at Llama. Llama stood his ground, holding the sword directly in front of him. As the flame reached the sword, it parted to either side and passed Llama harmlessly. The dragon, however, did not halt his forward rush. Instead, it followed the flame through in it's headlong rush and bit down hard on the swordblade. Llama held onto the sword for all he was worth. For a second they stood there, motionless, Llama holding the handle of the sword in both hands while the dragon held the blade between it's teeth. Great iridescent eyes gazed directly into Llama's stubborn face. Then there was a spanging noise, and the blade broke. Llama sat down suddenly, looking at the broken sword in his hands. The earth trembled as the dragon sat down suddenly in surprise also. It spat out the broken blade, and shook it's head as if to clear it's thoughts. "Bu.. But that's impossible." said Llama, more to himself than anyone else. "That blade's unbreakable." He looked at the dragon. Something was wrong - the beast looked smaller and misshapen, and - was that mould? - pink patches were appearing in the green scaly hide. With a roar, the dragon leapt in the air, and dove down on Llama. He didn't have time to react, didn't have time to do anything except cringe as the gaping mouth engulfed him and the giant fangs closed, piercing his skin and puncturing through his limbs, lungs, and other vital organs...
Llama awoke, confused and disorientated. A well-lit, rocky ceiling came into focus above, and the softness of the rug could not disguise the cold hardness of the rock beneath. Raising one hand to wipe the sleep out of an itching eye, Llama paused to stare at the hand. Delicate, slender fingers and perfect nails were there where a scarred, dirty ragged and stubby fingers and nails should have been. For a brief second, shock reigned. Then memory came flooding back, and with it, a pounding head-ache. Llama moaned and rolled over, nursing her head in her hands. Groaning, she pushed herself up to a sitting position and examined the cuts and bruises on her body, trying to find out if there were any more serious injuries. Eventually, she glanced round the room. Frowning to herself, she tried to figure out why it looked so familiar. And where was everybody? Getting uncertainly to her feet, she staggered out the room in search of an aspirin - or a shotgun to blow the top of her head off, whichever she found first. Stumbling in the doorway, she almost fell, but managed to support herself on the door-jam. Shambling into the kitchen, Llama reached into a cupboard and immediately her fingers closed around an aspirin bottle. Grabbing a mug off the rack on the wall, she proceeded to make herself a mug of strong coffee to wash it down with. Turning around, it was then she spotted the shotgun mounted on a rack on the opposite wall, with a box of cartridges handily placed underneath it. It must have been about then that the caffeine kicked in - because Llama suddenly realised that she'd known exactly where to find everything in the kitchen, in fact, she'd even known exactly where the kitchen would be from the pool-chamber. Slowly, wonderingly, she gazed around the rest of the kitchen. Realisation dawned, and with it, disbelief. Walking a bit more steadily now, she walked out the door at the other end of the kitchen, and down a short corridor. The corridor widened out at the end, to terminate at a large stone slab. Pressing a sequence of buttons on a control panel mounted in the wall, She stood back and waited as the stone slab tilted slowly outwards, forming a stone drawbridge to the outside world. Stepping forward onto the stone bridge, Llama took a deep breath and admired the view of the outside world. A near-full moon lit up the forested slopes of the mountain below, and on a nearby peak, the shape of a large stone castle. Dark shapes wheeled and swooped around the towers and turrets of the castle. On a rocky ledge a small distance below her, a winged horse stood brightly lit in the moonlight. Lifting it's beautifully maned head to the moon, the unicorn brayed long and hard. A long, soul-tearing sound, it reverberated off the surrounding cliffs in a wailing cacophony of sound. An answering bray, pitched slightly higher, responded from the forests in the valley below. Launching itself off the ledge, the winged horse soared away into the darkness that enveloped the valleys. Throwing back her head, Llama laughed long and hard until the tears rolled down her cheeks. Shaking her head in amusement, she turned and went over to the control panel. "Elly," she asked, "Where is everyone?" A flat emotionless female voice answered - "three people are in the computer room. The rest are in the Sports-centre." "Great, thanks." replied Llama, setting off down the corridor.
Behind her, the same female voice, this time with a definite hint of sarcasm in it, said "Just leave the door wide open, why not. Nice to see you after all this time. I mean, just disappear for five years, then come back and find everything how you left it, and not a word of thanks. Men. Huh!" The stone drawbridge slid silently shut and the last moonbeam was cut off with a barely audible click as it locked into place.